My life is about to make some big changes. I know, everyone’s life changes all the time. These feel like really big changes.
I’ll be getting married in just under three weeks. It’s a wonderful thing, and I never thought I’d find a new love. I have been married twice before, and I was with my second husband for twenty years. When that ended, I was surprised, hurt, and I figured I’d be alone the rest of my life. Life surprised me, and I discovered dating sites and met some fabulous men. I had a great time.
Fast forward ten years. I met a man about a year ago. We were both ready for that lasting relationship. I guess that’s part of what it takes. No matter how compatible you are, or how wonderful you and the other person are, you both have to want the same things, and you both have to be in a mental and emotional place to make a life commitment.
I should mention that he and I are both in our sixties. We have both been married twice before, and we both have adult children and grandchildren. This is probably easier than having younger children, and someone playing the role of a step-parent. Most younger kids are happy to have an extra grandparent. But there are some things to consider when you’re older.
- Money After living on our own for ten or more years, we had both become accustomed to handling finances in our own ways. Decisions need to be mad regarding separate or joint accounts, or even two joint accounts that are used separately. Who will take responsibility for bills?
- Health Many married people live longer than single people. It might be due to better nutrition (who cooks well for themselves?) and more activity. Having someone to share the workload around the house can make more time for enjoyable hobbies and a more fulfilling life. People who have happier and more active lives tend to recover from illness or surgery more quickly and completely than someone who have less fulfilling lives. But make sure you and your partner understand each other’s wishes in case of illness, and that you have necessary insurance to help pay for surgery, illness, or rehabilitation.
- Housing Whose house will you keep or sell? Or will you buy a new house together? What memories are present in each house? Can you do things in the house and yard to make it belong to both of you? It may not be financially practical to purchase a new house, especially if you’re considering retirement and your income will be reduced.
- Pets Are your pets oompatible? If you’re like us, you may be ending up with four dogs and one cat. You may have to do some work to make sure they will all get along. In our case, his dog and my cat were a consideration. There was no question about keeping pets. We would have lived apart rather than do without a pet. Fortunately, the situation is improving!
- Food and Cooking Can you adapt in the kitchen? Can you cook and clean with another person? Do you have special dietary requirements or desires? Fortunately my husband-to-be is willing to adapt to my requirements of cleaning up right away. And we have had to adapt to his desire to be an almost vegan, and mine to eat “real” food. So our refrigerator is full of real milk and nut milk, butter and margarine, lots of vegetables, cheeses, eggs, meats, veggie burgers, and assorted breads.
Falling in love in my sixties has been a wonderful experience. I am looking forward to exploring life with a partner, and, with him, making the best life for both of us.
Blessings and Peace,